Live Like You Were Dying
by RMTNDEW
Summary: What if you fell in love with someone but knew you couldn't be with them? Not because they didn't love you, but because you knew you were going to die. What would happen if they fell in love with you, too?
1. Unforgiving Signs

Disclaimer: This was the first X-Men fan-fic I ever wrote so I'm sorry if it's quite corny. If you'd like to read my most recent just click my pen name and you'll find it. Oh right, I don't own any of the X-Men characters, sadly, nor do I own the rights to the Tim McGraw song "Live Like You Were Dying," but I think for the sake of creativity they won't mind if I borrowed them for a bit! ;) Enjoy!

Live Like You Were Dying

I walked through the living room into the main hallway, opening doors without touching them, reading a book without turning the pages with my hands.

I was reading 'Beauty And The Beast', it was my favorite book. I had read it four times since I had gotten to school in late August, and it was only mid October then.

It was my first year attending the school at which I was staying. It was Professor Xavier's boarding school for 'gifted youngsters', or mutants, whichever you preferred.

"Lee!" I heard someone call out.

I looked up from my book, it was Rouge. Rouge and Bobby with someone I had never seen before, but judging from what I had heard Rouge and a few of the other girls from the school, that someone was Logan.

"Hey guys," I said, walking over to where they were standing.

"Lee this is Logan, Logan this is Lee," Rouge said, introducing us.

"When did you get here?" He asked as he reached out his hand to shake mine.

"This summer," I said, leaving my book in mid-air.

"Lee…isn't that a guy's name?" He asked with a coy smile and a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, and Logan is the name of a road house." I said with a wink then turning back to my book I grabbed it and closed it. "See you guys later."

I tossed and turned but I couldn't manage to fall asleep. I looked over at my alarm clock; it was two thirty in the morning. I let out a long sigh, and then stumbled out of my bed to find my house shoes and a hoodie. Once I found my way out of my room and took the elevator down to the first floor, I walked into the kitchen to see Bobby and Logan talking, while Bobby was eating ice-cream.

Logan was drinking some sort of soda, while standing up against a cupboard. He was wearing a pair of tight blue jeans with a tight, white wife-beater. His chest muscles pressed tightly against the fabric.

'_Not too shabby_,' I thought to myself.

"Morning," I said before pulling out a carton of mostly eaten ice-cream from the freezer. I grabbed a spoon from one of the drawers and then sat down across from Bobby. I looked at the cabinet above Logan's head, opened it, picked a Coco-Cola bottle and sat it down in front of me. I picked it up and twisted the top off before taking a sip.

"So that's your thing, telekinesis?" Logan asked.

"You got it," I said, taking a bite of my ice-cream.

"What's with the sweat-shirt, it's burning up in here?" he asked.

"I've got a medical condition where I'm constantly cold. No one knows what caused it, but its been like this for quite a few years, now, you learn to live with it."

"So, what's the deal with your parents, do they know what the school is for?"

"Yeah, they know about it…well, my mom does," I said, "my dad doesn't know. But, I haven't seen him since I was around eight, or something. My step-dad knows and he's really cool with it."

"Are you from here, or did the Professor find you?"

"Does it sound like I'm from here?" I asked. I had a fairly thick Southern accent.

"No, it doesn't," he said with a smile. "Where are you from?"

"Tennessee, yee-haw." I said sarcastically taking another bite.

He laughed. He had a very nice laugh.

"Where are _you_ from?" I asked.

He thought for a second and let out a long sign before running his fingers through his hair. "I don't remember, kid."

"You don't remember anything?" I asked.

"No about where I lived. All I remember is the last fifteen years."

"I'm sorry,"

"Don't worry about it,"

Once I finally finished eating, I emptied the rest of my soda and announced that I was going back to bed.

"Yeah…I think I will, too," Logan said. "I'll walk you."

"Alright, night Bobby," I said, walking to the door.

"Night,"

Logan and I walked to the elevator, and once we had both gotten in I pressed my floor button and leaned up against the wall. I was starting to feel drowsy.

"Gonna' make it to your room?" He asked in his deep, scratchy voice; I had never heard one quite like it.

I gave a little laugh, "I don't know, I'm feeling pretty tired. I think it just hit me all at once." I said, stepping away from the wall. I suddenly felt very dizzy and grabbed onto one of the bars in the elevator for support.

"You alright?"

I tried to concentrate on the floor to make it stop from spinning, but I couldn't keep my balance and fell down on my knees, onto the floor of the elevator. I kept my hand held tight onto the bar and my other against my head, but it was no use. My sight slowly turned to tunnel vision before everything finally faded black.

"Kid, you okay? Can you hear me?"

I slowly lifted my eyelids to see Logan bent down in front of me.

"What happened?" I asked, looking around. We were still inside the elevator, but it had stopped.

"You passed out,"

My head was killing me.

"I just need some sleep; I'll be fine in the morning," I said, "thanks for the help, though."

"Let me get you to your room, I don't want you passing out in the middle of the hallway."

"Alright," I said, pulling myself up.

We both walked down the hallway as I propped up against him. I pointed him to my door and he helped me to it.

"Thanks, I don't know what hit me, I guess I'm my sleepy than I thought." I said, faking a laugh.

I knew exactly what was wrong with me; I just didn't want to admit it.

"Goodnight," I said, opening my door.

"Goodnight,"

I watched him walk away before going inside to sleep. It was a fitful night, but I didn't get up again. I didn't want to risk passing out and assuring myself what was wrong. I wanted to put it off for as long as possible, but that night I knew there was no doubt as to what was wrong.

I walked up to the door and before I could knock I heard; "Come in Miss. Brice,"

I opened the door and walked into Professor Xavier's office.

"Please sit down," he said, directing me to a chair in front of his desk. "I realize that usually Jean or Orro, and even on occasion, Scott have attended your doctors' visits with you in the city, but I'm afraid that they are all quite, regretfully, preoccupied this week."

"Oh, that's fine, I can go by myself-" I started.

"I don't think you should go by yourself, Miss. Brice, not with these fainting spells you've been having." It was mid December, two months after I had fainted in the elevator. "I've talk to Logan and he had agreed to take you into the city for your doctors' visit."

"Oh, okay, I guess I'll go get ready then. Thank you Professor." I said, slightly shocked, standing up.

"You're welcome,"

I walked back to my room excited. I had had a small crush on Logan since the night I met him, when he had helped me back to my room. And I was getting to go into the city with him, all by myself.

I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in!" I yelled from my closet.

"You get a room all to yourself? How do the other students feel about that?" I heard as the door opened; it was Logan.

I poked my head out to look at him, and gave him a quick smile before continuing my hunt for a scarf.

"They don't like it, but I have to keep my room at a different temperature and I don't get along well with everyone. The Professor knows that and thought I'd be better off in a room by myself."

"What do you mean you don't get along well with everything, you're friendly?"

I gave a small laugh as I finally found a scarf and tied it around my neck.

"Well, I get along with a few people, but I've got quite a bad temper."

"I know how that goes,"

I walked out of my closet and shut the door. It wasn't that big of a closet, but most of my clothes were scattered about my floor, so it didn't have too much in it.

"So, are you ready, kid?" he asked.

"Yeah, just let my grab my coat and we can go."

I grabbed my coat and slipped it on. It was a quarter length wool jacket, which sort of looked like a pea-coat. I pulled my hair out from underneath the collar, slipped on my gloves, and pulled on a hat, making sure that my ears were covered. I caught a glimpse of Logan with a sarcastic smirk on his face.

"Hey, if I have to wear a hoodie in the middle of summer just imagine how cold I get in the winter."

"I know," he said with a sigh, looking around. He spotted a picture of me with some of my family sitting on my nightstand next to my bed.

"Who's this?" he asked, walking over to the picture and picking it up.

"That's me with my brother and sister," I said, walking over beside him.

"None of you look alike,"

"Yeah, I know. My brother and I looked more alike when we were younger. I'm starting to look like my sister, though."

"Are you the oldest?"

"Me?" I said with a smile. "No, I'm the youngest. My sister's nearly four years older than me, and my brother's only a year older. They're both in college doing their own thing now. This picture's kind of old, I wish we would have gotten a more recent one down, but what can you do?"

He sat it down and picture up another picture of guy I knew and me.

"Is this your boyfriend?" He asked.

"Uh, no, he's my friend. We've known each other for as long as I can remember…but we don't speak anymore."

"Because you're here?"

"Sort of, yeah,"

He sat it down beside the other one and picture up a picture of me with my step-father.

"How about this guy?"

"Get over it, I'm single," I said with a laugh, "that's my step-dad."

"Do you get along with him?"

"Yeah, we get along great. He's funny, nice and smart. He's been the best thing in my life and I miss him a lot."

"Are they planning on visiting for Christmas, or anything?"

"I don't know, I've been so busy with doctors' visits and buying presents and all sorts of stuff I haven't had a lot of time to really stop and call them."

"Maybe they'll surprise you,"

"Yeah, maybe," I said.

"Okay kid, let's go."

"Alicia Brice," one of the nurses called out. We were at my doctor's office, sitting in the waiting room.

"You can come back with me, or stay out here, whichever you want. I don't care," I told Logan as I stood up.

He took a quick look around the room; sick, noisy kids, running around, loud people on cell phones, and a man who was quite large, had fallen sleep in the seat next to him.

"I'll go back with you,"

We followed the nurse back into a small, white room. I sat down on the examining table, after taking off my coat. Logan sat in the chair beside me and I placed my coat in the empty one beside him. I pushed up my sleeve so that the nurse could take my blood pressure. Then she asked Logan, "Are you Alicia's father?"

"No, I'm not," he said quickly. I looked over at him; he was flipping through a Woman's Day magazine. I rolled my eyes and smiled.

"He's one of the Professors from my school," I said. I wasn't quite sure how else to explain a man of his age staying at a school, if not to teach.

"Oh, well the two of you look alike," she said. I looked at Logan as he cocked his eyebrows in questioning and gave me a quick smile.

I had never thought we looked anything like each other, but I suppose we did. We both had brown hair, although mine was longer and curly. We both had similar colored eyes; his were hazel and mine were a dark green. We were both fairly tall; he was around six foot three and I was probably five foot ten. That was really it, though, nothing else.

After going through all of the same questions they asked me every time, the nurse left, saying that the doctor would be with us shortly. They always say that, then it's another hour before he actually gets to your room, he spends all of twenty minutes at the most, before leaving again.

"So, thrilled out of your mind yet?" I asked with a sarcastic laugh.

"Just about," he said as the doctor knocked on the door and walked in.

'_That was quick,'_ I thought.

"Good afternoon Miss. Brice, how are you?" he asked, looking through my chart that the nurse had filled out.

"I'm doing pretty good, thanks,"

"Good, good," he said still scanning my chart. "So, about these fainting spells,"

"What about them?" I asked.

"Well, how many have you had this month or since your last visit?"

I thought for a moment, "I guess about ten altogether this month and six since my last visit."

"Are you aware that they're becoming more of a regular occurrence now that the weather has changed?"

"Yes," I said.

"What does the weather have to do with her passing out?" Logan asked.

"Well," the doctor began, "because of Miss. Brice's condition, he cells are freezing themselves in her body. When the temperature drops like it does in the winter it's harder for her to get her body heated up. This means that more and more cells are freezing, which is stopping blood from getting to her brain and causing her to faint."

"There's nothing you can go to heat her body up?" Logan asked.

"We've gone over the possibilities of something similar to a tanning bed, but there's nothing that we've found that wouldn't put her up for the risk of possibly getting skin cancer. We don't want to trade out one thing for another." He said with a small, practiced laugh. Apparently it was doctor humor.

"What about moving somewhere warmer?" Logan asked.

"That is something we've talked about as well, but the actual possibility of relocating isn't likely. There's not many doctors willing, or able for that matter, to take on a disease such as this, but to find one in an idealistic location for her to more, just doesn't seem realistic. Other factors to take in would have to be her family moving with her, finding new jobs, buying a new house, for Miss. Brice to find a school that caters to her as much as her present one, and still continue her doctor's visits. The cost of that would be almost too much for most families." It was all old news to me; I had asked and heard it all. There was nothing we could do but wait and see what happened next. "We would have liked for her to have continued living in the south, the winters are a lot less harsh there, but she wanted to attend school here, so that's her decision."

"What's been done in the past to treat this disease?" Logan asked.

I let out a long sigh.

"That's the tricky part you see, I'm afraid that she's the first to have it, or at least to be recorded, anyway. This is a very rare case for someone to take on, but I think we'll be able to look out for it, and possibly cure it, ahead of time if it happens to start showing up anywhere else."

"So what is she supposed to do then?"

My doctor took a deep breath before letting out a heavy sigh. "Watch it, and monitor it, make sure that she's keeping herself as warm as possible, that's about all we _can_ do at this point."

"If her cells are freezing why doesn't she feel cold?"

"They're freezing on the underside of her veins, keeping most of them warm, although her feeling should be cold to the touch."

Logan looked at me to explain.

"My feeling is like a numb feeling," I started, "you know how when you stay out in the cold for too long and your hands and feet start to get so cold they sort of go numb and tingly? That's what it feels like. I just feel numbness when someone touches me. It doesn't hurt or anything, it just feels weird. Although, if someone's really hot I can feel a bit of warmth from them, but they would have to be at such a high temperature for me to feel it that most people would die of heat stroke before being able to be hot enough to make their touch feel normal to me."

I felt tired and worn out, I didn't want to go over it again.

Logan looked at me and I had never seen him look the way he did at that moment. I could literally feel his sadness and sympathy. His eyes were filled with paint. He wasn't one for words but I knew he felt all of it for me, I just didn't know why.

"So, where to now?" Logan asked as we stepped outside of my doctor's office.

"I don't know, back to school I guess," I said.

"We could," he started, "but why not play hooky? They don't know we're done yet."

I smiled. "Yeah, you're right, I hardly ever get to go anything except for the doctor every time we come to the city," I said, "what do you want to do?"


	2. Saving Grace

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the X-Men characters, and sorry if I screw up the biology bit every now and then, I'm home-schooled. lol I hope ya'll enjoy it!

Logan and I spent the next two and a half hours shooting pool. I had never played before so he had to teach me. I didn't win any of the games, but it was fun learning how to play. It was around eight o'clock that night before we got back to the school.

"You're in trouble," Bobby said as we walked through the door.

"Why?" I asked.

"I don't know. The Professor and Dr. Grey are looking for the both of you; I think they're in his office."

I looked at Logan and he raised his eyebrows at me.

I hated living with telepaths.

I took a deep breath and we both walked to the Professor's office. Again, before either of us could knock he called for us to come in.

"Good evening Miss. Brice, Logan," Professor said as we walked into his office.

"Good evening Professor, Dr. Grey," I replied, sitting in the same chair as I had that morning. Logan stood behind me.

Dr. Grey was half way sitting on a desk that was holding a computer.

"Where did you go today?" Professor Xavier asked, looking from me to Logan.

"We went to my doctors' appointment," I said.

"Is that all, just there and back?"

"No," Logan cut in, "I showed her how to shoot pool afterwards,"

"Whose idea was that?" asked the Professor.

"Mine," Logan admitted.

"Is this true Miss. Brice; was it all Logan's idea?"

What did he want me to say, yes, no? I was confused.

"I wanted to do something to take my mind off of everything and he suggested pool. I had never played before and though it would do me some good to be focusing on something else. I didn't know we weren't allowed to." I said, "I mean, you've told Dr. Grey and Storm to let me go to bookstores and stuff afterwards, I just didn't we weren't supposed to."

The Professor looked at us hard; I knew he was trying to read our minds.

"Don't worry, it won't happen again," Logan said, storming out of the room.

"Logan!" The Professor called out as the door slammed shut.

"I'm sorry; I didn't know it was a problem,"

"It's not," Professor Xavier began, "it's just that we weren't sure of where you were. It's not always safe outside of the school."

"That and with your condition, being out so late, when it gets even colder, isn't good for you." Dr. Grey added.

"I know but I'm not going to be here for very long. I have to be outside of here at some point."

"I understand," he said.

After a moment of silence, I finally broke into tears. "Professor, I don't have much longer to live, my body is completely shutting down on me and I just want to live as much as I can. He understands that and he understands me. I feel so different when he's around, I don't feel like I even have to worry about anything. I don't have time to think about worries and problems, so I'm sorry if we worried you but it's not something that we did on purpose."

"I know," he said, letting out a sigh. "You may go now."

I got up and walked out of his office and went straight up to my room. I put on my pajamas and crawled into bed. I was hoping to fall asleep right away but I was too restless to sleep. I laid there thinking; about my family, the school, Christmas, mostly I was trying _not _to think about Logan. It wasn't working.

I suppose I fell asleep, because the next time I looked at my clock it was one in the morning. My stomach was growling so I decided to go find something in the kitchen that would take my mind off of the ever plaguing thought of Logan.

I took the elevator down and walked straight into the kitchen.

"Can't sleep either, kid?"

There he was.

"No, I woke up starving." I don't know why I sounded so rude, but for some reason I couldn't help it. Maybe is I was rude to him he would leave me alone and I could get him off of my mind…but did I really want him out of my head?

"Look," he started, "I'm sorry I ran out on you like that in the Professor's office. I was afraid I would say something to get you into more trouble. I talked to him again, though; he said it wasn't going to be a problem."

"I know," I said, digging through a pantry, "we've already talked about it."

"I guess that means no more playing hooky with me. I'm a bad influence on you, kid."

I smiled. How could I have wanted to be mad at him?

"And what makes you think you've had any type of influence over me?"

He smiled back at me, taking a sip of his Dr. Pepper.

After finding some leftover Chinese food in the refrigerator, I sat down across from him. He was wearing blue jeans and a gray wife-beater.

"Do you remember if you have a family, or anything?" I asked between bites.

He took another sip of his Dr. Pepper. "Like a wife?" he asked.

"Yeah,"

"No, I don't remember if I did or not. I don't know if I have any kind of family. I've not had one since then, either."

"You don't remember anything at all? Nothing?"

He looked at me hard, staring right into my eyes. "Listen kid, I remember a few things but they're not what I need."

"What do you need?"

"I need answers. The more I remember the more questions that I have,"

I sighed. I wanted to help him, but what could I do?

"Do you know how old you are?"

"No," he said pausing, "how old are you?"

"Sorry, I don't remember either," I said with a laugh.

"You're going down, Ice-Man!" I said. It was a week later and I was playing air hockey with Bobby in the game room. Rouge was watching and waiting for her turn to play.

"Oh, who just scored?" He asked with a smirk.

"Lucky shot! You're gonna' lose, you know?"

"We'll see," he said, scoring another point.

"It's all dramatics, I'm going to come back and win." I was good at talking myself up, but I was never any good at backing it up with actions. I, of course, lost at two to seven.

"Lee," Storm called from the doorway.

"Yeah?"

"Someone's here to see you,"

"I'll be back guys," I said, following Storm into the main entry way. My mom and step-dad were both standing there. I ran and hugged them both.

"I missed you guys so much!" I said smiling at them,

"I know, we missed you too," my mom said.

"The house is completely empty and quiet, it's a little creepy." Steve, my step-dad, said.

"Well, I'm having a wonderful time here. It's so nice with the weather like it is, it's so beautiful."

"Hello, you must be Miss. Brice's parents," said Professor Xavier. He was the only person there that called me Miss. Brice. Scott and Dr. Grey were behind him.

"Yes, I'm Nina and this is my husband Steve." My mom said as they both shook the Professor's hand.

"I'm Charles Xavier; this is Dr. Grey and her husband Scott."

"Hi, it's nice to meet you," Dr. Grey said.

They all shook hands and said hello.

"And I'm sure that you've already met Ororo," the Professor said, motioning to Storm.

"Yes, she showed us in," my mother said with a smile.

"Has anyone seen Logan today?" I asked.

"No, why?" Storm said.

"I wanted to introduce him to my parents,"

"Well, if I see him I'll tell him you're looking for him." Storm told me.

"All right, thanks."

"I'm sorry, but there's nothing new to tell you." Dr. Smith told my parents. We had gone to the doctor all together to get the test results from the visit the week before, with Logan.

"How can there be nothing new?" My mom asked. "What were the tests for, then?"

"Her blood count is down, that's what the tests were for. We needed to know if she needs new blood."

"Does she?" Steve asked.

"I don't think it would do any good. If there's foreign blood in her body it may go into over drive and start freezing at twice the rate it is now. It's something to think about, but it would be risky."

"I don't want to do it," I said.

"But it could help you," my mom told me.

"Or it could kill my quicker, pick your poison. I'm dying…whether I get new blood or not, I can't do anything about it, no one can." I said bluntly.

"It's not necessarily true that this will be fatal," my doctor said.

"My body's freezing; my cells are turning to ice. My lungs will eventually crystallize and my brain won't work without oxygen. That sounds pretty fatal to me."

My mom began crying.

"We're going everything we can but because no one's ever heard of this happening before there's no much _to_ do. I am truly sorry," Dr. Smith told me and my parents. "We just have to wait and hope that something useful will come along."

"I thought that went pretty well, how about you?" I asked. We were talking outside of my doctors' office building.

"I don't know why you insist on joking about this?" My mother asked.

"It's either that or cry," I told her.

I looked across the street and saw a familiar someone walking down the sidewalk opposite of us, smoking a cigar. I watched as he crossed the street. I didn't say anything but that was my sanity right there, however crazy it sounded.

"Hey kid," he said, walking up to us.

"What do you want?" Steven demanded.

"No, it's all right; this is Logan, the one I was telling you about." I said.

"Didn't mean to scare you," Logan said.

"It's all right, these are my parents."

"It's nice to meet you," my mother said, reaching out to shake his hand.

"You too," he said. "So uh…what'd the doc say?"

"Nothing new,"

"Sorry,"

"Don't worry about it." I told him. "Where have you been all day? I've been looking for you,"

"I went and shot some pool,"

"By yourself?" I asked.

He gave me a small smile. "I played with a few guys that were there." He said, taking his cigar out of his mouth. "Are you going back to the school?"

"Yeah, are you?" I asked.

"I guess so, I'll walk with you."

We walked towards the subway, but there was a car wreck and we couldn't get through even on the sidewalks.

"We can take that ally and get to the subway." Logan said, pointing to the ally across the street from us.

We all followed Logan down the ally-way. I didn't like it, it was dark, dirty and it smelled. I was getting nervous and fidgeting with my hands. One of them bumped into Logan's and he grabbed it and held onto it. I felt safe with him there, holding my hand.

We turned a corner and before we knew what was going on, a man jumped out and me against him, sticking a knife against my throat. "Give me everything you've got or she's dead."

"You picked the wrong people to mess with, bub," Logan said as his claws shot from his hands.

The mugger must have been surprised because he dropped his knife. Once he did I ran away from him and watched as Logan sank his claws into his arms, slinging him up against the wall. He let out a roar then pulled his claws out and caught his breath, as the mugger slide down the wall unconscious.

I was still scared and breathing heavy and on the brink of crying. I didn't know what had just happened.

Logan's claws slowly slid back into his hands. I had heard him talk about what he could do and that metal was running through all of his body, but I had never seen him do it. I was mesmerized and shocked at the same time.

"Let's get out of here," he said, grabbing my hand and leading me through the ally with my parents close behind us. I could only imagine what was going through their minds right then. All within a minute my life was threatened and Logan had attacked and knocked out the person who had threatened it.

After that we got through okay. We were all still pretty shook up by the time we reached the subway and started heading home. Everyone buy Logan.

"How do they come out?" I asked, staring at his hands.

He looked at them and thought for a minute. "I don't know, they just do,"

We didn't talk much on the way home but before we stopped I broke the silence; "Thank you," I said.

He looked me in the eyes. "Don't worry about it, kid,"

"I know, but I really mean it."

"I know you do,"

He always had this cocky attitude that just oozed confidence, but instead of hating him for it, that's one of the things that I loved most about him. If anyone else had been like that I would have hated them, but he had a certain charm to it. And that's what had happened; he had charmed me. I had no say over whether or not I liked him, I had to, and there was nothing I could do about it.

"Well, there's no doubt that the school's worth the money we're paying for it," my mom said. We were standing just outside of the school gates.

"I really like it here," I said.

We stood in silence for a moment before Logan decided to go ahead inside. Once he left I knew it would start.

"Honey, please come back home, I don't like you all the way up here, I don't think it's safe."

"Mom, I don't want to go home. What don't you think is safe," I asked, "the school or the city? I'm fine, Logan took care of me, and nothing is going to happen."

"I don't like him"

"If you're going to talk about him could you at least wait until he gets inside?" I asked in a hushed voice.

"He's all the way up there, why does it matter if he's inside?"

"Because he can still hear you,"

She watched him until he walked all the way up the drive and stepped inside the mansion, closing the door behind him.

"I don't like him," she said again.

"Why not?"

"He is _way_ too old for you, I think he's dangerous."

"That is so stupid!" I said. "You can't tell me who's too old for me, I'm an adult now. You let my sister go out with someone who was forty-three before she was old enough to make her own decisions."

"But he didn't have knives shooting out of his hands, did he? He also didn't attack anyone."

"That we know of! And besides that is completely ridiculous, he saved my life and now he's some maniac?" I said. We stood quietly for a while before I corrected her, "And they're not knives, its adamantium, it runs through his whole body."

"That's what I don't like about this school; how did metal get through all of his body and him still be alive? What can all of these people really do? I'm afraid that someone is going to happen to you while you here with these…_people_."

"That's enough!" I yelled. "Those people that you're talking about don't treat me differently. I'm not some sort of weird freak that has to hide who I am, I'm not scared here mom. I was scared at my other schools; I know what kids can do to you where you're different than they are. So don't talk to me about being unsafe here, because I have never felt safe at home, at school, with my family or with anyone!" I'm happy here, not at home, why can't you see that?"

"How can you say that you didn't feel safe at home? We went out of our way to make sure that no one knew about your problem,"

"Oh my word," I said unbelievingly, "I don't have a problem! It's called telekinesis, and it's a gift. Maybe I didn't feel unsafe at home all the time, but I definitely felt uncomfortable. You treat me like this person who doesn't really live, I'm just a problem for you. You've never understood me since I told you what I could do. I could never do anything to make up for my faults. I couldn't measure up to Chloe and Luke, they did everything right."

"You know that's no true, we have always loved you, you know that."

"No, you've treated me like a freak, walking on egg shells not to upset me because you think I'm going to freak out and do something, you don't understand anything about me."

"We're just trying to protect you,"

"Protect me or you? You don't want people to think anything bad about you."

"We love you," she said with tears in her eyes.

"I don't doubt that, but I've got to stay here. I'm safe and comfortable and I never have to worry about being scared or worried that people will treat me differently, so please…if you do _truly_ care about me and have my best interest in mind, then you will not ask me to go home."

"Okay…you're right. If that's what you want to do and if you feel so strongly about it then…okay."


	3. A Safe Place To Land

Disclaimer: Again I do not own any of the X-Men characters or the rights to the title of this fan-fic, I'm just a user and can't come up with anything original. Just kidding...or am I? Thanks for the nice reviews so far and enjoy the rest!

My parents left the next day. They had only planned to stay for two days but something told me they were glad they hadn't stayed longer.

Things were odd between Logan and me for the next few days. I didn't know why he would be mad at me for? I was sure that he had overheard what my mother had said about him, but why would he be angry at me for what she said? I didn't know; everything he did confused me. Sometimes he would flirt with me and other times he would treat me like a kid. I knew he had had a thing for Dr. Grey in the past, but we had never talked about it. I just never knew what he was wanting.

"Wake up!" I heard someone yell through my door.

I was in a state between asleep and awake and I didn't know what was going on.

"What?" I yelled back. I opened my eyes just as Bobby and Rouge walked into my room. "What's going on?"

"It's Christmas, everyone's goin' downstairs to open presents," Rouge said.

I sat up in bed, trying to wake myself up. "Okay, let me put some house shoes on and grab a sweatshirt." I got up and slipped on my hot pink, furry house shoes and grabbed one of the many hoodies that littered my floor.

We all sleepily walked down to the first floor, since everyone was using the elevators. I looked down and saw all of the kids sprawled out along the floor. Most of them were talking excitedly, while the older teenagers were in corners trying to get a little more sleep.

Rouge, Bobby and I spotted a place to sit near one of the smaller Christmas trees by the front door. We moved and danced our way around the kids to the empty space and all sat down next to each other.

Bobby asked me a question and when I turned to face him I saw Logan standing at the top of the stairwell. I gave him a quick wave and he put up his hand, waving back, before making his way down the stairs.

"Lee?" Bobby asked.

"Huh?" I had forgotten what he had asked.

"I said are you okay, you look really pale?"

"Yeah, I feel fine," I said. But, I had lied; my vision became blurry and my breaths got short. The last thing I remembered before waking up was feeling like I was falling backwards for a long time.

"Kid, wake up,"

I felt a sharp pain in my head as soon as I opened my eyes. My head was pounding.

"I've got a headache," I mumbled.

"No wonder, you hit the tree stand,'

"It's really loud in here," I said, grabbing my head.

"No one's talking but me and you," Logan said.

"I can hear a loud ringing sound,"

"She needs to be checked out, she might have a concussion." My eyes slid into focus enough to see Dr. Grey standing behind Logan, and looking down on me.

"Come on, kid, let's go let Jean see if you're okay." Logan said, lifting me up in his arms. I thought about protesting, telling him to put me down and let me walk, but I felt as if I couldn't move. So, I stayed there, limp as he carried me all the way to Dr. Grey's infirmary. Then he sat me down on one of the examining tables, sat down beside me and helped prop me up.

"Can you hear me?" Dr. Grey asked.

I pulled all of the energy I had to say; "Yeah, but I can't focus on anything, I feel pretty drained, I don't think I can move too much."

"Okay, you don't have to move, I just need you to open your eyes for me." She said.

I tried, but they wouldn't stay open for very long periods of time. After about forty-five minutes Dr. Grey finally told me that I didn't have a concussion and that I could go join everyone else in the entry way if I wanted. I decided to and left Logan and her to talk. When I got outside I realized that I had forgotten to ask her to give me something for my headache. So, I turned around to go back, but I stopped just outside the door when I heard them talked.

"Logan, what are you doing with her? She had taken up with you and you keep leading her on, it's going to break her heart when she finds out you don't feel the same way she does."

"And since when do you know how I feel, Jean?" Logan asked.

"Do you like her?"

"Why does it matter to you?" He asked. "I wanted you but you wouldn't let me, now I've moved on and you feel left out? Is that what it is?"

"No Logan, that's not what it is, she's just a kid; leave her alone."

"Don't tell me to leave her alone."

They were quiet.

"You can't help her," I barely made out Dr. Grey saying, "if anything you'll make it worse."

"How can I make it worse?"

"She doesn't have very long to live, just a few months."

"So you just want me to leave her now? The kid is scared; she needs someone she doesn't have to be scared with." Logan said angry and nearly shouting.

"And what Logan, you've all of a sudden become dependable? You run out when you don't like how things are going, why now?"

"Because we need each other Jean, okay? I want to protect her and make sure she doesn't have to worry."

"Why do you need her?" Dr. Grey asked so quietly I almost couldn't hear her.

"Because she brings back memories,"

My heart stopped. Was that the only reason he talked to me, he thought I was some scared little kid that he had to take care of, or that I could make him remember his past? Was that it?

After they stopped talking for a few minutes I knocked on the door.

"Come in," Dr. Grey said.

I walked into the room, trying to act as if I hadn't heard anything, but I think Dr. Grey already knew I had.

"I'm sorry to bother you but I meant to ask for something for my headache, it's killing me?"

"Yeah, sure, I'll get you something,"

I didn't look at Logan.

"You okay, kid?" He asked.

"I'm fine, it's just where I hit that tree stand is hurting pretty badly."

I looked up at him, searching his eye; what did he want from me?

"Here you go," Dr. Grey said, returning with some Tylenol and a glass of water.

"Thanks," I said after taking the pills, "I'm going to go back out there with Rouge and Bobby, I guess." I turned to walk away when I heard Logan hop down off of the table, I felt him grab my arm.

"Wait, I'll go with you," he said.

I gave a short, forced, smile. "Okay."

The rest of the morning was a little strained; I didn't talk to Logan as much as I usually would have. I wanted him to know that I was fine on my own, that I didn't need him. He was so arrogant, I wanted to hate him but I couldn't. I just did my best to be short with him.

I was sitting in the living room, opening the presents that Rouge and Bobby have gotten me. They had bought me a new hoodie and hat that matched.

"Thank you guys, I really needed this, my old one's collecting holes." I said with a laugh, picking up the hat.

"Sorry we couldn't get you anything else," Rouge said. Neither of them was still in contact with their parents, so they couldn't just have them send them money like mine did.

"Don't worry about it, this is brilliant." I smiled.

"Lee, you've got a phone call," Scott said, stepping into the living room.

"Okay," I said, standing up from the floor. "I'll be back in a little bit guys,"

I followed Scott as he led me into the Professor's office.

"Thanks," I said to Scott before picked up the phone. He gave me a quick smile and then turned to leave, shutting the door behind him. "Hello?" I said into the phone.

"Hi," I heard the person on the other end reply. The voice was familiar but I wasn't sure where I had heard it. But I was fairly sure that I really _had_ heard it before.

"Who is this?" I asked, sitting on the edge of the Professor's desk, even thought I had been told not to before.

"It's dad,"

My heart stopped.

"My father's dead, you must have the wrong number, I'm hanging up," I said moving towards the base of the phone.

"Alicia it's me…your dad, I know we haven't spoken in a few years-"

"Try around ten," I cut in.

"Okay," he said taking a breath, "ten years. Look…I know I haven't been the best father and I've not always been there when you needed me but I want to make it up to you."

"How?"

"I'm in town this week and I want to take you out to lunch. I know that's not enough buy I thought it might be a start."

"No, a start would have been sending a child support check on time, calling us every once in a while, paying some doctor bills, it's not that hard!"

"What can I say, I'm sorry? I couldn't do anything, you're mother wouldn't let me. She told me she didn't want me to have anything to do with ya'll."

"That is such crap! She did not say that, and even if she did you never even tried to get in touch with us, we were your kids! I lived my life thinking you never loved me,"

"I never said that I didn't love you,"

"Really? Because to an eight year old 'I hate you' sounds pretty similar."

"I didn't mean it,"

"Well you never cared to clear that up,"

"I did try!"

"When!" I shouted.

"I would call all the time and your mom would tell me that you were busy-"

"Do not bring my mother into this! This is about me and you, not her. She never left me, she's always told me that she loved me and she would never let me go a day without believing that. So, if you have a problem with her then please, by all means, let me know what it is."

"Look, I don't want you to be mad at me, I want to fix it."

"It's too late to be fixed."

"Then let me start over, give me a second chance. I've changed; I know you have, too. Just let me get to know you and little and you can get to know me."

'_Just say no, just say no!'_ I thought to myself.

"I'm at a school up in New York; if you want to have lunch then you'll have to come up here,"

"I already told you; I'm in town."

"How did you know I was here?"

"I checked your school records, I found that you were going to a boarding school up here and thought I might come see if you would have lunch with me."

"Why were you checking my school records, they're none of your business?"

"I was making sure you didn't need help paying school bills, I just wanted to help." He let out a long sigh. "So, will you eat lunch with me, just this once?"

I knew better. He would get my hopes up and just break my heart again.

"Yeah, when?"

"Well, how about next Saturday?"

"Yeah, I guess so,"

"Okay, well…I'll find some place for us to go and I'll call you back. Do I need to pick you up?"

"No!" I snapped. I didn't want him at the mansion. "I'll meet you."

"Oh…okay, well…I guess I'll call you back when I get everything arranged,"

"All right, if that's what you wanted then I'm going now,"

"Alicia, I am sorry and I do love you." He told me. I paused; it was almost believable.

"Yeah, whatever," I said, hanging up.

I walked out of the office and stood by the door after I closed it.

"So, sneaking into the Professor's office, huh?" I heard from behind me. I spun around; it was Logan.

"Yeah, you caught me." I said with a tone of sarcasm, trying not to cry.

"What's wrong?"

I took a deep breath, wondering if I should tell him.

"I just got off the phone with my dad,"

"Steve?" He asked.

"No, my real dad,"

"I thought you hadn't talked to him in a long time?"

"I hadn't, but he's in town and wants me to go out to eat with him next Saturday." I said, starting to cry. "I don't know what to do, he always does this to me, he's the one person who can break me and he knows it. He knows what to do, he knows what to say and then it's like I'm eight years old again and I'm waiting for him to call me. I just don't know what to do,"

"Shush, it's okay," Logan said, wiping a tear from my eye.

"No it's not,"

"I'll be fine,"

"How?"

"I'll go with you on Saturday," he said, running his hand down my cheek. For a second I thought I could almost feel it.

"No, I can go by myself."

"Kid, I'm not letting you go by yourself, you're stuck with me." He said with a quick grin. I couldn't help but smile.

"I just don't know what to do, he's going to break my heart again, I know it…and that will kill me."

"Don't worry about it," he said, running a hand through my hair. He put his hand on my cheek; I wanted him to keep it there. "I won't let anything happen to you." Then he leaned in and kissed me. My lips had feeling left in them, and I definitely felt that. I kissed him back. I prayed that he wouldn't stop, that he wouldn't leave, that I could keep him forever. But he did, he would and I couldn't. He slowly backed away, breaking our kiss.

"Merry Christmas, kid," that was all he said before going back upstairs.

I stood there, frozen. I felt like I couldn't move; what had just happened?

I didn't see Logan for the rest of the day, maybe it was a good thing. I was so confused with everything that had happened already I probably didn't need an awkward feeling between us, assuming that it would be awkward.

I tried to get some sleep, but it was no use. I just couldn't shake the feeling of Logan's lips against mine, that feeling had haunted me all day. That was it! I had to go talk to him. I looked at my alarm clock as I set up in bed, putting on a pair of house shoes. It was nearly midnight; I didn't want to wake him up, but we had to talk. I pulled on the new hoodie that Bobby and Rouge had given me. I took a deep breath and left my room to find Logan's. Once I found it, I wasn't sure I really wanted to go in. My heart was pounding and my breath was short. I tried calming myself down, but I couldn't.

"This is stupid," I whispered to myself. I walked straight up to his door and knocked. No one answered. I knocked again a little louder. If I didn't get an answer that time I was going back to my room to sleep. I waited, but no one came to the door. There was nothing else I could so, so I started walking back to the elevator.

"Hey kid," I looked over my shoulder to see him standing in his doorway. He looked gorgeous. How dare he stand there looking like that while I was trying to be assertive?

"Hey," I said, walking back towards his room, "we need to talk."

"All right, come in,"

I walked into his room which was the same size as mine; small. I sat down on his bed.

"What do you want to talk about?" he asked, leaning up against the wall across from me. He was wearing wrinkled blue jeans and a wife-beater. I assumed that it took him as long as it did to get to the door because he was getting dressed.

I took a deep breath. "Today I overheard you and Dr. Grey talking about me, I just wanted to clear up what's going on between us? I thought I had it figured out until you…kissed me, and now I'm lost again."

"We didn't mean for you to hear us talking,"

"I know, but I did,"

"What do you want to clear up?" he asked.

"I want to know why you…you said you need me…but why? Just because I can help you remember a few things, is that all?"

"No," he said, "that's not it."

"Then why did you say that?"

"I hadn't cared for someone in a long time until I met Jean, I wanted her and I wanted her to want me. But, she was married to Scott." He said, taking a deep breath. "Then I met you and I couldn't get you out of my head. There was something about you that made me want to be with you every chance I had. I do get memories when I'm with you, but that's not the only reason."

"You said that you needed to protect me," I said, "I am an adult; I don't need someone protecting me."

"I want to; I don't want anything to happen to you."

"I'm dying, Dr. Grey already told you. _You_ can't stop that from happening."

"I don't want you to leave, though," He said.

"I don't want to leave either, but there's nothing we can do." I said, a tear running down my cheek. "Why did you kiss me? Why not just leave me alone, you wouldn't have to get hurt that way?"

"Because I can't leave you alone, I wanted to kiss you, I've been wanting to." He said, walking over to me. I stood up, facing him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. He hugged me back.

"Can I keep you?" I asked, crying.

"Sure, kid," he told me.

I didn't want to let go, I just wanted to stay there with him holding me. But I couldn't, so I let go of him.

"Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?" He asked, pushing the hair out of my eyes.

"No, I think that was it."

"Good," he said, leaning in to kiss me again.

"I don't want you to get hurt," I said, looking him in the eye.

"I know what I'm doing, kid, trust me." And I did, I trusted him. I wanted him to kiss me, so I let him.

"I've got to go back to my room," I said, pulling awake from him slowly. He pulled me back and held me and kissing me on top of my head.

"Stay here with me,"

"I can't, I've got to go," I told him, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"All right," he said, giving me another kiss as I walked through the door.

"Goodnight, Logan,"

"Goodnight, kid,"


	4. Undeniable Destiny

Disclaimer: This is it, the last chapter. I hope you all have enjoyed reading it so far! In case it wasn't clear enough in the first 3 chapters here I go once more; I do not own any of the X-Men chacters nor do I own the rights to the title of my fan-fic. I do, on the other hand, own a sock-monkey named Mr. Boo-Boo Socks. Thank you for all of the kind reviews and enjoy the rest of my story!

"Are you almost ready?" Rouge called out. She was sitting on my bed flipping through the TV channels. It was Friday, New Years Eve.

"Yeah, I'm done." I said from my bathroom, shutting off my hair dryer. I studied myself in the mirror; my skin was a pale color, my hair was long and unruly, and blue had started creeping into the color of my eyes. I had always thought that I was fairly pretty, but in comparison I wasn't sure how I stacked up. I sighed loudly. "This is as good as it gets," I whispered to myself, trying to smooth my hair down some to keep it from looking unkempt and slept on.

I exited my bathroom, shutting the door behind me.

"So are you ready to go downstairs, I think everyone's gonna watch the ball drop together?" Rouge asked.

"Yeah, let's go," I said.

We took the elevator down to the first floor and saw Bobby sitting at the bottom of the stairwell, waiting for us. We all walked into the living room together, where I immediately spotted Logan. I wanted to go talk to him, but we had agreed to keep it cool in public. There was too much going on for us to tell anyone. I couldn't even tell Rouge, and she was my best friend. The problem there was that Rouge had liked Logan, Bobby like Rouge and they were dating. Logan liked Dr. Grey, but she was married to Scott, and I liked Logan a lot and he said he like me. The whole situation was complicated and reminded me so much of high-school; it wasn't a love triangle it was more like a love octagon.

I waited a while and said 'hi' to a few people before making my way over to Logan. Bobby and Rouge followed me.

"Hey Logan," Rouge said.

"Hey," he said, then looking at me he asked; "What did you do to your hair?"

I tugged on a small piece and smiled shyly. "I don't know, it just doesn't want to do anything right tonight, I guess."

He raised his eyebrows and looked around the room, once his eyes stopped and settled I turned to see what he was looking at; Dr. Grey. She was wearing a short, black cocktail dress. She and Scott had just gotten back from going out to dinner together. And there I was, standing in front him in just blue jeans, a sweatshirt and my furry, hot pink slippers. How could I compete with her?

"Did Scott and Dr. Grey go out somewhere?" I asked, even though I already knew.

"Yeah, they had a date," Rouge said.

I flashed a fake smile. "They're so cute together, don't you think?"

"Yeah," Rouge answered.

It was mean, I knew it, and blame it on the lack of oxygen to my brain but I wanted to test Logan. I knew we weren't being public about the two of us but I felt as if he were ignoring me and that he paid more attention to me before he knew that I liked him.

"I'm going to go get something to drink; I'll be back in a bit." I said, starting off towards the kitchen.

"Yeah, me too," I heard Logan say and then follow me. We both walked into the kitchen and he closed the door behind him. I opened the refrigerator, pulled out a Coke, popped it open and closed the door. I pulled up a stool and sat down at the counter of the island in the middle of the room. He stood up against a cupboard.

"Are you going to get something or do you want a sip of mine?" I asked.

"Why did you say that?"

"Say what? That you could have a sip of mine? You can get one of your own; I was just trying to be nice, sorry."

"About Jean,"

I thought for a second. "About she and Scott being cute together?" I asked. "I didn't realize it was such a big deal." I tried to keep a straight face, but I was just glad he couldn't read my mind.

"You know how I feel abut her," he said.

"I'm sorry, how you feel or how you felt because there is a huge difference?" I said with a slightly forceful tone. He bent his head and looked down at the floor. "Logan, just tell me what you're talking about?" He didn't say anything. "All right, I guess I _know_ what you're talking about then," I said, standing up and walking to the door.

"Lee, I do still…care about Jean, I'm not going to lie," he said, "but I care about you, too."

"So, who is it then; me, because I'm not married?" I asked. "I'm not going to be you're little backup plan, Logan. I really like you and you're just playing games with me."

"I'm not playing games with you,"

"Yes you are! What do you call what you're doing right now if not toying with me?"

"I can't help what I feel," he said. He was starting to get angry and his voice was rising.

"Unfortunately, neither can I," I said, leaving the kitchen. He didn't follow me back into the living room. My best guess was that he either went back to his room or left the house. I watched the ball drop with Bobby and Rouge. I didn't have a problem with them, but I wanted Logan to be there with me, I couldn't help it.

I was asleep, having a dream that I was in my room back at home, but my parents wouldn't let me out. I was banging on the door, over and over and over. I slowly woke up to realize that someone was actually knocking on my door. I got up and stumbled to it in the dark, opening it just a few inches to see who it was. There was Logan, standing with his arm out stretched, propping himself up.

"What do you want?" I asked, still half asleep.

"I want to talk to you,"

"I thought we already talked,"

"We need to talk again,"

"All right, come in," I said, walking back to my bed, turning on the lamp beside it and sitting down Indian style. After walking in and closing the door he came and sat down on the edge of my bed, beside me.

"Listen kid, I don't want you to be mad at me, I know that I shouldn't have said what I did,"

"No, there was nothing wrong with what you said; it's what's going on. Who do you even want?"

"You,"

"Then what's up with Dr. Grey? How does she fit into all of this?"

"I think that I only wanted her because I couldn't have her,"

"But you still want her,"

"Not if it means losing you,"

"You don't know what you want,"

"No," he said, "I want you."

"I thought just about four hours ago you still had feelings for her? I know this isn't easy for you to talk about stuff like this but you've got to try to explain it to me, because I have no clue what you're talking about one minute to the next."

He stood up from my bed and paced from one side to the other, his hand placed on his hips. "I love you,"

My breath was caught in my chest, I was wide awake.

"W-what?" I stuttered.

"I don't love her," he said, standing in front of me and looking me in the eyes, "I love you."

I started crying but my tears turned to ice as the left my eyes.

"Why are you doing this? Don't be in love with me!"

"What do you want me to do? You want me to say that I only want you and when I finally tell you that I love you, you don't want that either?" He said, yelling.

"I'm dying!" I yelled back. "Don't you get that? You can't be in love with me!"

His face softened from being angry and still wanting to scream to pity and compassion. "I'm not letting that stop me," he said, wiping the frozen tears from my face. I could hear them hit the floor.

"But it will," I said, "I don't want you to get hurt."

"I can take care of myself, don't worry." He pulled me to him and I laid my head against his chest. "You're not gonna leave me kid."

I couldn't remember falling asleep, I just remembered Logan holding me. I couldn't remember waking up either, I just was. I was awake when my alarm clock when off. I hit the snooze button and laid in bed think about what had happened the night before. That day felt different, I didn't feel afraid and everything felt right. Once my alarm clock rang the second time I shut it off and get out of bed. I opened my curtains. I couldn't remember the last time they were opened. It was a beautiful day outside, there was snow everywhere but the sun was shining. It was a new year, a second chance to start everything over again. Why were we so lucky as to get a second chance at our life? I felt happy like I hadn't felt in a long time, and on that day I knew that I was in love.

"Nervous?" Logan asked.

"No." He raised an eyebrow at me. "Okay…a little." I said, fidgeting with my hands, which I tended to do when I was nervous. He grabbed my left hand and held it.

"Don't worry kid, it'll be alright."

We were walking to the restaurant that I was supposed to be meeting my dad at. It was a small place that I had never heard before called The Moonlite Café. It was around ten minutes away from the first subway we usually took going into the city. Once we got to the front door a man greeted us, asking if we needed a table for two.

"No, I'm supposed to be meeting someone here," I said with a smile.

"Under what name?" he asked.

"Uh," I said, thinking. Sadly I had forgotten that we shared the same last name. "Brice, I suppose."

"Okay, we have three Brice parties here today, what's the first name?"

I thought hard. "Ronald or Ron," I said.

"Okay, here we go, let me show you to the table." Logan and I followed him until he stopped at a table with a man sitting at it. The man sitting was going bald, and what was left was nearly all gray. The greeter left us two menus on the table before leaving. Logan sat down in the chair across from my father, nearest the wall.

"Alicia, wow," my dad said standing up, attempting to hug me. Instead I stuck out my hand for him to shake. "You've grown up a lot." He motioned for me to sit down; as if I was waiting to actually make sure it was okay. I loathed him.

"Yeah, I guess that's what ten years can do to you, imagine that?" I said sarcastically.

"Oh, and you are…?" My dad asked Logan, completely sidestepping my remark.

"Logan," he said. They shook hands.

"I didn't know she was bringing anyone else?"

"I've been fainting some lately; I just need someone with me to make sure I'm all right." I said. It wasn't all a lie, I did fait at times and it was nice to have someone with me. I just failed to mention that Logan wouldn't let me go without him. Logan stifled a laugh.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," he said, pulling a cigar out of his pocket and placing it in his mouth. He felt around in his jacket for his lighter.

"This is a smoke free restaurant." I said.

"So?" he asked.

"You can't smoke at the table, it makes me sick."

"All right," he said putting it back inside his jacket pocket.

"Thank you," I said.

"Sure kid,"

We sat and talked for around two hours, everything seemed to be going okay. The conversations were a little rough; my father had no clue how to keep one going. We were sitting there drinking coffee, except for Logan, and he was asking me about school for the third time.

"So, what's your gift?" he asked.

"What?" I asked shocked. How did he know that I had a gift?

"The school you go to is for gifted kids, what do you do?"

"Oh," I said relieved, "I play-" My breathing stopped. I could feel my chest burning, this was it; my lungs were crystallizing. "Logan," I gasped, grabbing his arm. I looked at him and there was fear in his eyes. He grabbed me and held me, he was shaking.

"It's gonna' be okay, kid." He said to me before yelling; "Someone get help!" I wasn't fully conscious, but I think my father or someone in the restaurant had called nine-one-one and they had sent an ambulance over. When I was awake I tried my hardest to breath, but it hurt so bad. I didn't know what to do. I woke up once in the ambulance and nearly panicked when I didn't see Logan, but he was sitting beside me and grabbed my hand. I need him to hang onto.

The next time I woke up I was being rushed down a hall on a stretcher. I had an air mask on, but it wasn't helping. I could feel my chest burning as it froze. My veins felt like they were being sliced open as the blood in them starting freezing, turning to ice.

But as all of the pain was surging through my body, I felt better knowing that Logan was still there with me. I prayed he wouldn't leave.

After that I felt conscious, but my eyes wouldn't open. I could hear everything, but I didn't know where I was at. I heard doctors and nurses talking, but the last thing I heard was someone yelling.

"No, she's not dead, she's not dead! No…" It was Logan. I think he was crying, but I couldn't tell. There was another noise in the background and began listening to it. It was my heart monitor…flat lining. I knew it would kill Logan.

I was sweating and couldn't breathe well because it was so stuffy.

"It's so hot," I mumbled, my eyes fluttering open.

"Hey," my mom said, leaving over my bed, "how are you?"

"Hot, it's really stuffy," I said, looking around.

"Here, let's take some of these blankets off and then I'll fix the thermostat." She said, taking about four blankets off of me. Then she went and turned on the air conditioner on, and came and sat back down beside me.

"What happened?" I asked.

"You passed out in the restaurant that you were eating in with your father and someone called for an ambulance."

"I know…" I said, taking a deep breath and trying to pace out my words which seemed to be mumbling themselves in my head. "What happened here? The last thing I sort of remember is hearing Logan yell. What happened?"

She looked down at one of the blankets and gently squeezed my left hand, which she was holding. "We thought we had lost you," she said looking back up at me with tears in her eyes and a small smile. "Your heart stopped for twenty minutes, they tried shocking it back but it wouldn't work. Then…it just started working on its own. Your body started warming up; they said it was nearly frozen. But you came back to us. They thought that you might be in a coma for a while, but one of the doctors said you would be okay, that your body was just catching up and taking care of itself."

I sat up in bed slowly; I was still a little dizzy. "Where's Logan?"

My mom smiled at me. "I'm right here, kid," he said. He was standing in the doorway. I started crying and he came over to me and held me.

"Thank you _so_ much, I was _so_ scared and you were right there with me. Thank you, thank you." I said quietly, breathing him in. He smelled like cigars and cheap cologne. He was beautiful.

I could feel. I felt his hands, his arms, I could feel _him_. He let go and sat down on my bed, opposite of my mother.

"I'm okay now," I said, "I'm not dying."

"I know," he said, looking me in the eye. "You're gonna' be okay, kid, I told you I wouldn't let you leave me."

"You are so arrogant!" I said with a laugh, wiping away a tear. He smiled at me and held my hand. "Please don't ever let go of me, I love how your hand feels holding mine."

"I won't," he said. "It's a little cold in here, isn't it?" My mother laughed.

"I'm burning up!" I said with a smile. "I can actually feel it and it feels wonderful."

I was touching everything, the bed, my blankets, my mother's hand, Logan's hand. His hand felt so strong. I ran my fingers over his knuckles. How could something so powerful, so strong be in my small hand? I loved his hands. While we were talking I found out that I had been unconscious for three days, my dad had gone back home and had called once to see how I was.

The doctors didn't know why my lungs started to unfreeze, or how my heart started back, or even how my blood defrosted itself. We never found out how I got my disease or how I lost it. Some doctors thought because I had officially 'died' that my body had ridded itself of it. Maybe my body knew how to take care of itself, after it. Logan was able to heal back after being cut, or hurt, Rouge was able to take powers from other people just from a touch, and Bobby could freeze anything with his hand. Maybe I was a small part of the rest of them, maybe it was another one of my powers, I didn't know.

After about ten minutes Logan said he was going to call the school and tell them that I was awake. Once he left and shut the door my mom stood up and paced around my bed for a bit. Finally she stopped at the foot of it, "I'm sorry," she said.

"For what?"

"For ever making you feel like you didn't belong in the family. You mean so much to us and I don't want you to feel like this gift that you have makes you an outsider. I want you to be able to come home and not worry about anything, but I want you to feel free to go to school without feeling like you're choosing sides."

"I know momma, I was just upset when I said that stuff before."

"No, it was the truth; we don't know you, we don't know your friends, we don't know anything about you, and I'm so sorry. You're my baby and I always thought I would have time to catch up with you, but I haven't. Teachers, students and complete strangers know you better than I do."

"What complete strangers?" I asked.

"Him," she said, pointing to the door. "Logan, I don't know him and he knows. He adores you, I can see it when he looks at you. And I don't even know him."

"He told me…that he loved me." I said.

"What did you say?"

"I think I started crying and told him not to," I said with a laugh.

"Do you love him?" She asked.

I took a deep breath. "Yeah…I think I do. I mean, I know I love him, but…I'm pretty sure that I'm in love with him."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know, there's only four months until schools out and I'll be going to college in the fall." I said. "I don't know, but I need him."

"Well, he's not as bad as I thought he was. He's a very nice man and you're both adults," she said, "and he's not half bad looking."

I laughed. "This means a lot to me."

"I know sweeties," she said coming over to hug me. "I love you,"

"I love you too, momma."

I got to leave the hospital two days later and went back to the mansion. My parents, my brother and my sister stayed for a week but then left again. The next four months seemed to fly by.

Logan asked me to go to Canada with him for the summer to see if he could find anything that would make him remember his past. I decided to go and we spent three months trying to find an old Navy base that he had had a dream about. We couldn't find it, but I promised him I would go with him again next summer. I was accepted at NYU and attended that fall. I went back to the mansion on the weekends to see Logan and everyone else. I was studying to become a doctor so I could teach at the mansion. Dr. Grey was helping me out a lot and we've actually become quite close.

But now it's winter again, and I can't tell you how odd it is, but in some strange way I've missed the cold. There's something familiar and comfortable about it. And even now as I walk to my car to head back to NYU I don't regret anything I've done. I've lived my life like I was going to die; doing everything that I wanted and I got a second chance. I rose from the dead for a second chance at living and I've lived everyday as if it were my last. Because who knows what you'll miss if you forget to live? I wouldn't have fallen in love. And that, no matter how different mutants and humans are or will ever become is a common link that we have; we need to feel and touch, to have someone give them their heart and take theirs in return. We want to feel loved, wanted and needed, and I have experienced all of these in my few short years of life. So to those who have given it to me, I say thank you for everything. Thank you for giving me everything I've ever needed, even more for what I wanted. For those who believed in me and who would never let me down, and even those who did let me down and showing me that I can trust myself. To my family and my friends; you are my world, thank you.

The End


End file.
